Out Of The Frying Pan, Into The CrossFire
by Catherine Wheels
Summary: Why did Lithuania think leaving Russia to live with the resident war-monger was a good idea? Now America has an optimistic, coke-addled plan to 'crack open' China that will bring Lithuania closer to danger, and possibly romance, than he's ever been.
1. Eggs: Not Unlike People

_A/N: This is supposed to take place in the late 1960's, early 1970's. I know, in Hetalia canon, this was no when Lithuania was working with America. But... Whatever. _

_Spain and America are doing cocaine, if you couldn't tell. Why? Because my first thought was "whose cracked out idea was it to let Spain into NATO while they were still under a dictatorship?" Of course, this was not the case. Spain was a Constitutional Monarchy when it was entered into NATO. Research was needed, but whatever. I really like the Spain/America pairing, so... shut up._

_Also... I do not apologize for any OOC that happens here. So don't tell me they're OOC. I know. That's the point. It's a dark crack fic. Ever heard of it? Enjoy. On an unrelated note... First ever Hetalia Multi-Chapter Solo Fic._

* * *

"Get down! Get down!" America tore at a break neck pace down the stairs and grabbed Lithuania's arm, pulling him to the floor. The coffee cup in Lithuania's hand bounced off the carpet floor as Lithuania hit the ground under the windowsill, gasping for breath.

"What is it, Mr. America?" Lithuania asked, his voice hardly more than a whisper.

America fixed Lithuania with a sideways glance and replied, coldly, "The communists."

"What do you mean communists?"

"The fuck do you think I mean?"

"I… sir…"

"Shush!" America snapped, putting his hand over Lithuania's mouth and holding him close, pressed up under the window. "They'll hear us!"

They sat silent for what felt like forever until they heard footsteps on the stairs. Lithuania looked up. Spain, with wild hair and a crazed expression, shirtless, moved towards them, stumbling slightly. "¿Qué? ¿Qué están haciendo?"

"Speak English! The communists will hear you!"

"Yo no soy un comunista. Yo soy un fascista."

"Yes, yes," America said quickly, letting go of Lithuania and standing up, grabbing Spain's hand and shaking it furiously. "And that's why you're going to be in NATO."

"What?" Lithuania picked the coffee mug off the floor. "Since when?"

"Since he's not a communist is since when!" America snapped, grabbing Lithuania's shirt collar and shaking him. "Are you with or without me? No. Not want I meant. Against. With or against me?"

"With! With!" Lithuania pleaded, afraid to pry America's hands off him. "With, completely!"

"Good," America said, dropping Lithuania and clinging to Spain. "You promise they won't find us?"

"Yes," Spain replied, "Pero… Necisito mi camisa. Necesito salir."

"What the fuck are you saying?" America whined. Lithuania could only stare in horror as America's hand traveled down Spain's torso to the buttons on his slacks. "Do I need to gag you again?"

Spain laughed and looked at Lithuania, only really seeing him for the first time. "You. Get my shirt from the bedroom. Ahora."

Lithuania obeyed quickly, fleeing up the stairs and darting into the master bedroom. It was hellishly warm, with the windows shut and the heat lights in the bathroom glowing dark red. It reeked of cigarette smoke and sex. _'No blood_' Lithuania reminded himself, _'Just be thankful there's no blood.'_ Spain's shirt was lying over the bed post, an empty sandwich bag by the pillows. Hesitantly, Lithuania picked the shirt up. The edges of the sleeves and collar were sticky. Sick to his stomach, he headed down the stairs.

"Ah, thank you," Spain said cheerfully, pulling his shirt on once Lithuania had given it to him. "And for making coffee."

"Isn't he cool?" America blabbered, popping his knuckles and pointing at Lithuania. "I got him from Russia. Stole him. Fucking communist doesn't deserve to have such a cool fucking servant."

"I remember my servants. They were useful. I haven't had servants for ages. I suppose that's what comes of beating them and killing their natives," Spain laughed a cold hyena cackle before throwing his empty coffee cup at Lithuania, who barely managed to catch it. "This has been great. But I really must go. Good luck, friends." He stumbled to the door; his shoes untied, and slammed it behind him.

"That guy," America said, opening the fridge and beginning to gnaw on cold leftovers. "Is too fucking nifty. At first he was all, like, 'oh, god, I'm with Germany, but secretly neutral.' And then we bombed the shit out of Germany. And Spain was like, 'sure! Build your bases in my country!' He's an opportunist to the max!"

Lithuania nodded weakly, "Do you, um… want me to warm your breakfast up?" What he had wanted to say was: 'do you mind not speaking in such a terrible fake accent,' but he hadn't found the nerve.

"No. You know what I want? An Easter egg."

"How about just a hardboiled egg?"

"Sure! You would do that for me?" America beamed, his bright blue eyes with their unnaturally large pupils seeming to shine. "You're too awesome, you know that? I love you. I just love you so much. Kiss me."

Lithuania didn't move as America wrapped his arms around him and forced his tongue into his mouth. He tasted like cigarettes, antiseptic, and a dash of cooking grease. Lithuania waited out the kiss the same way he had waited out a torture from Russia. It was as though he was watching the whole thing from outside himself, a curious inspector from the other side of the kitchen. "Why don't you go take a bath?" Lithuania said quietly when the ordeal was over, "And I'll make you some eggs."

"Sure thing!" America ran off, charging up the stairs, leaving his servant alone.

The kitchen had always been Lithuania's favorite part of the house. It represented both hard work and reward, a challenge and a place of solace. Somewhere where even Russia respected him. At home, the kitchen had always been clean, orderly; the one thing he had always had control over. But here, at America's house, even the kitchen seemed jumbled beyond repair.

"_I'll protect you from him."_

"_Are you sure you aren't doing this just-"_

"_To piss him off? That's only a part of it." America is smirking. His glasses gleam in the fluorescent light. "Besides. Come home with me now and there's nothing he can do about it."_

"_Except attack." Lithuania crosses his arms, afraid, but tempted. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Russia and China arguing again. A house with an unhappy Russia is not really a house he wants to return to._

_America laughs and finishes his burger. "Toris. This ain't the 50's. We're in a whole new ballgame now. What's he going to do?"_

_Lithuania thinks quickly, and then heads to the door. "Nothing. Let's just go."_

"So you know what I've been thinking?" America rambled, peeling the egg. He had managed to find his glasses and calm down a bit from the earlier morning's antics. He was sitting on the couch, with his feet on the coffee table. A similar habit with Russia had driven Lithuania crazy, but he hadn't ever said anything. And he wouldn't say anything now.

Lithuania shook his head, "No"

"Course you don't. You're not a fucking mind reader."

"So..?"

"What?"

"So what are you thinking, sir?"

"Huh? Oh! Yeah. I was thinking about Easter eggs and eggs and cracking them open and you know… People can be cracked open, too. So you know who we need to crack?"

With his heart sinking into the pit of his stomach, Lithuania asked quietly, "Who?"

"China."


	2. Things I Learned From France

_A/N: More exposition._

_In the next chapter, China shows up._

_And I have no idea where I'm going with this._

_Also... I DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR FEM!CHINA OR ANY OCC. _

_What do you guys expect from me by now? _

* * *

"Sir, I think you should re-consider this," Lithuania urged nervously, ironing America's shirt for the third time that morning. It had been two days since America had made his proclamation.

"Why?" America asked, sitting on his bay window seat and flicking cigarette ash out the window.

Lithuania frowned deeply. "Well, I think Mr. Russia-"

"Stop," America snapped, his eyes dark. "I took you away from him for a reason."

"Well, yes, and I'm thankful," Lithuania said quickly, "But… If you really do intend to, um, open up China, you'll be stirring up trouble with-"

"Didn't they break up years ago?"

"Well, yes, but that doesn't mean he's n-"

"Then China is free meat, man. We're just going to make that bitch ours."

"Ours?" Lithuania furiously began to press the sleeves of the shirt. They were free of wrinkles, but the repetition of the movement was soothing.

America nodded, taking a long drag from his cigarette and exhaling curls of smoke through his nose. "You're living with me. I don't mind sharing if you want."

"I…" Lithuania shook his head, hesitating. "Do you even have a plan, sir?"

America extinguished the cigarette on the underside of his neatly polished shoe. "Of course I do. A brilliant hero plan." He snatched the shirt out from under the iron and pulled it on, grinning. "Called seduction."

Lithuania felt his jaw drop. "What?"

"What, you've never heard of it?"

"Well, I…" Lithuania unplugged the iron and folded the board up, putting it nearly away in the walk-in closet and shuddering. "China's… Not that sort of woman."

"Of course she is," America laughed, buttoning his shirt up after flicking the dead cigarette out the window. "Every woman is. Give them chocolate and tell them they're pretty and then they say yes to a date, and then you give them money and then they say yes to capitalism."

"That didn't exactly work with Vietnam, did it?" Lithuania asked meekly.

"Shut up." A pack of cigarettes flew past Lithuania's head and collided with the wall behind him. "Don't talk about that bitch."

Lithuania shook violently, his eyes closed tight. "S-Sorry," he muttered quickly, "I didn't mean to…"

"Damn right you didn't," America sighed, shaking his head. "And don't tell me what women are like. Aren't you hot for that Belarus chick?"

"N-No!" Lithuania insisted, "She's in love with her brother. I, um, I used to like Ukraine but she…"

"Is hopeless. Hot, but useless and hopeless and dumb."

"Well… You know… She might be easier to convert to capitalism than China…"

"But I'm not interested in Ukraine, stupid. I'm interested in China. I want to make a damn statement. If she falls to me, the other Communists won't have a choice but to follow suit, you get what I'm saying?"

"But…" Lithuania sighed deeply. "She's not that kind of woman."

America shrugged, pulling on his jacket and heading downstairs with Lithuania following him closely. "You know," America said as he opened the garage door and climbed in to the car, Lithuania taking the passenger's seat, "If this doesn't work, this seduction thing, we do have an alternative that might…"

"Such as?"

"Well," America's grin twisted into one of sadism. "We'll tie her up and just force capitalism on her."

Lithuania closed his mouth tightly, resisting the urge to say: 'well, that didn't work so well with Vietnam, either, did it?'


	3. If I Sold You Lithuania

A/N: My FemChina is kind of a bitch in this one. Get over it. OOC is my life. Dark, evil characterization is my life.

* * *

_"Tell me about him, Toris."_

_Lithuania closes his book and looks up. "What do you mean, Ms. China?"_

_"Why he makes you do what you do." She stands up and stretches, pushing her broad rim hat back. It's a bright mid morning in summer; she's planting flowers along the edge of the pond in the back yard while Lithuania sits in an Adirondack chair, managing finances. _

_He shrugs. "Mr. Russia is just tired from the war. He needs me to do things for him."_

_"We're all tired from the war. That's not an excuse."_

_"I don't know," Lithuania looks down, "I guess it's good for me to feel needed. I don't mind serving."_

_China stares at him with eyes that say 'you're lying' and puts her hat back on, shrugging. "If that's true, you're the best thing to happen to him, and he doesn't deserve you in the least."_

_"He deserves you less, Ms. China." _

_"Why's that?"_

_"You love him," Lithuania mutters, "And he doesn't deserve love."_

_"Toris…" Slowly, China unbuttons her shirt and lets it slide off of her shoulders. She is facing away from him, and he can see the deep, ugly scar from Japan on her back. But the things that catch his attention are the bruises: long and finger shaped, accompanied by raised scratches from un-clean nails. "I don't love him. I just forgive him. Someday, he'll do something that I cannot forgive. And when that day comes, I will leave and find somebody else I can forgive. Because that's all love is, Toris. Forgiving what you think you can and hating the rest of it."_

_"I can't forgive him for anything."_

_"I don't blame you."_

She stood with her hand on her hip. "Whatever you're selling, I don't want it."

"Even if I was selling myself?" America grinned, holding out the box of chocolates and the half-dozen roses he had bought on the way to her house.

"Call this old-fashioned, but I think that male prostitutes are filthy. Besides, you're not my type."

"Would you buy Lithuania?"

"I would consider it."

Lithuania shuddered. "Please don't, Mr. America…"

"So are you here to sell me something?" China asked, practiced boredom apparent in her voice. "Tell me the truth, Toris."

"Ms. China…" Lithuania shifted uncomfortably. "We, um, really did just want to talk. We were, um, wondering how you've been coping since you broke up with Mr. Russia."

"I'm coping better than he is," China sighed, fully opening the door. "Come in, then, aru. As long as you aren't trying to sell me something."

Lithuania and America stepped inside. The house was tidy, pleasant, and smelled of cooking. China went into the kitchen and came back with a vase, taking the flowers from America and setting them in, arranging them slightly before putting them on a windowsill.

America smiled brightly. "You see?"

"See what?" China asked, "I see that you've showed up in time for dinner with roses and chocolate. So I see that you want something."

"Only your endless praise and affection, dear," America replied with a laugh, opening the box of chocolates and eating one, his eyes suddenly wide. "And for you to try one of these. Because they might be the most fucking delicious things in existence."

China burst out laughing, going into the kitchen and dishing up plates of food, setting the first one in front of Lithuania. "The odd thing is," she replied, "Is that I can't tell if you're joking or not. I hope not." She pushed a plate of food in front of America, who began to eat like a man half stared.

"Thank you for dinner," Lithuania said quietly, looking at his plate with guilt, terrified for what might happen to China. A gentle tap on his shoulder forced him to look up anxiously. China was standing close to him, a genuinely worried expression on her face.

"You look ill, Toris," she said quietly.

Lithuania never knew how to speak to China. She used familiar terms with him, but every time he considered addressing her as Yao, a ball of sharp anxiety formed in his chest. "I… I'm alright, Ms. China."

Again, as she had many times years before, she looked at him with cold disbelief and shook her head. "If you say so, aru."

Shamed into silence, Lithuania ate small bites of food while America bragged about his economy, and China listened with an expression of mocking disinterested that was obviously ignored by America, who hardly took a breath in between food and rambling.

"It's getting late," Lithuania finally muttered, looking out the window at the clouds with their last dying glow slipping into the bluish gray of night. "We should get home."

"Nah," America replied, looking at China expectantly. "We've still got time, don't we?"

"You want to stay the night," China sighed, "Fine. You can stay."

"We didn't say that," America whined, feigning a tone of hurt and surprise.

China just laughed, "But you were planning on it. Come on then."

She led them down the hall, opening a door for Lithuania. It was a small, neatly furnished guest rom. He bowed stiffly, and went in, only to leave again, hovering by the doorframe as China and America walked on. With growing horror, Lithuania saw America move his hand down China's waist until it was resting in the back pocket of her trousers. Even more surprising was that she didn't stop him.

And it occurred to Lithuania with terror and shock that maybe America might be right at times. At least about women.


	4. Once a Servant, Always a Pushover

A/N: _And now we have Russia. _

_Don't worry! In the upcoming chapters, the interactions between China and Lithuania are not simply in flashbacks. _

_Also, thanks for the reviews, guys! They are very helpful! For example, I may have to have a chapter now told from America's point of view. It may show up later on in this fic. _

_Again, no apology for OOC or FemChina._

* * *

"Sir, I really think these trips are ill advised…"

"What do you mean?" America closed his suitcase and looked up at Lithuania. "I think they're pretty fucking awesome."

"But you're not thinking about-"

"Russia. Jesus, Toris. You're too damn hung up on him." America rolled his eyes, heading to the door. "Besides. I'm on my way to getting her to cave completely. I mean, she's sleeping with me. So sooner or later, she's gonna be a capitalist."

"How close are you?"

"Close enough." America winked. "She's a great girl, you know. She likes it rough."

Lithuania blushed deeply. "Good luck. And… be kind to her, Mr. America…"

"Won't need any luck!" America bounded out the door.

At the sound of car wheels screeching against gravel, Lithuania took a deep breath. It was nice to finally have the house to himself. For the fourth weekend in a row…

_He wakes up to the sound of crying. Latvia? No. Too consistently high pitched. Reaching out in the darkness, he feels human hair, then a scalp, and then blood. With alarm, he springs from his half-sleep and turns on the side-table lamp. China is lying in the bed, blood slowly oozing from the side of her head, clotting in her dark hair. It shimmers slightly in the dim electric light, like oil bubbling up from the ground._

_"Ms. China?"_

_She sits up slightly, still crying. "I'm sorry," she says frantically, trying to wipe her eyes. "I just needed somewhere to stay for tonight. I'm afraid to be out in the open. I locked your door when I came in… I'm sorry. I've done terrible things to him."_

_Lithuania looks nervously at the door, expecting it to be broken down at any second. "You're fine," he mumbles, turning his attention back to China. "But you're bleeding."_

_"We got in a fight," she mutters, "He… I made him angry. I should have known better."_

_"Take a breath. I have bandages under my bed."_

There were two sharp knocks on the door. Lithuania shot up like a rabbit and rushed to the entrance, not even thinking to wait a moment. He opened the door and bowed deeply. "Good afternoon. Mr. America isn't h-…" With shock and horror, Lithuania recognized the shoes he was looking at. Polished and blood-stained, they could only belong to Russia.

"I was counting on him not being home. I can come in, can't I, Toris?"

"I don't think he'd appreciate it. No."

"Then I'll talk to you from the doorway if I have to."

"What do you want to talk about, Russia?"

Cold hands closed around Lithuania's neck, and he flailed uselessly as Russia stormed in, backing him up against the sofa. "You will address me as either Mr. Russia, or sir. Am I making this clear?"

"Y-Yes," Lithuania squeaked, trying to pry Russia's hands off. "I'm s-sorry, sir!"

"That's better," Russia replied cheerfully, dropping Lithuania. "Now. Pour me something to drink and we'll have a conversation."

"A conversation, sir?" Lithuania scrambled into the kitchen, furiously going through the fridge and cabinets, beginning to shake. "And, sir, Mr. America doesn't drink the same kind of liquor…"

Russia raised his hand, signaling for Lithuania to be quiet before coming into the kitchen and taking a beer from the fridge. "Da. A conversation. And I wouldn't expect this capitalist pig to have anything of quality, after all."

"A conversation about what, sir?"

"About China."

"What about her, sir?" Lithuania watched Russia carefully, afraid he might do something that was to the man's displeasure. Afraid of setting him off.

"Well," Russia leaned against the sink counter, taking a long drink and frowning, pouring the rest of the beer down the drain before continuing, "I'm still in love with her. And I want her back."

_She is quieter, her jaw slack, and her eyes closed. Lithuania has shaved a spot of her hair off and wrapped her head neatly. She is no longer bleeding, but the crying hasn't stopped; only become more muffled. "Thank you, Toris," she says after a while._

_"Of course," Lithuania said sheepishly, unsure what to tell her. "It's no problem at all. I, um, I'm good at this. My brothers are always… At any rate, it's not a problem."_

_"I didn't mean to make him angry," China whispers. She's shaking, and Lithuania is shocked by how weak she looks. For all the years he's known her, China has been nothing but strong; stronger than most men. And now… There is no way around it. She looks like a scared, battered woman._

_Lithuania gently puts his arm around her shoulder and sits with her. "I know."_

_She latches on to him, her fingers holding tight to fistfuls of his shirt. "He's going to be mad at me. I cut his face up. He's drunk. He had that damn lead pipe… He was going to kill me. Had to stop him." Her words become jumbled and exhausted. _

_"You did fine."_

_Quietly, but just loud enough for him to hear, she says, "I can't forgive this anymore."_

"What do you mean, spy?"

"You heard me," Russia snapped, "You tell your new boss what happened here. If he doesn't agree to stop seeing China every week, I'll bomb her nation. And then his. And then yours."

"Why me?" Lithuania asked weakly.

"Because you annoy me." Russia beamed, searching the kitchen for a pen and piece of paper. He had to settle for an old grocery list and a pencil. "Now, I'll write him a nice letter so he knows I'm serious."

"Sir, this isn't going to-"

Russia dropped the pencil and hit Lithuania with a right hook. Lithuania crumpled to the floor and held his nose, feeling the blood pour out. "This will work, damn it, because I say it will work. Damn slut won't talk to me, but she trusts you for some reason. America trusts you, too." Russia began to laugh, "Though I don't know why. In the murder mysteries, it's always the butler who does it. Of course, you're more like a maid, da?"

Lithuania managed to pick himself up off the floor, saying quietly, "Mr. America is going to be mad at you."

"Da," Russia replied, going back to writing the note. "I'm counting on it. That way he'll be too distracted to notice what I'm doing."

"Why should I be helping you anyway?" Lithuania asked sharply, taking a wide step back and closing his eyes.

Russia grinned, violence in his eyes and voice. "Because if you don't, I'll shoot your jaw off and make everyone think you attempted suicide. Then, you'll be released into my care, and I'll make you my bitch like you've never known. So tell me, Lithuania, does that sound like a good time to you? Or do you want to help me take back the woman that's rightfully mine?"

Lithuania was shaking so badly he thought his legs might give out. He didn't doubt a word that Russia said. Then, with his heart heavy with guilt, he whispered, "Just tell me what to do, Mr. Russia."


	5. The Way You Look Tonight

A/N: _Hi there. To folks that are actually reading this, thanks! Your feedback means a lot, actually. _

_And, um... China is a slut. What can I say. She has a comitment phobia, I think. You know. To balance out America's narcissism and substance abuse and Russia's borderline personality disorder._

_Also, from what *very* little I know of Russian, I think "mischka" is "little bear." Like, a pet name._

_The next chapter will have narration from America and Russia's point of view, as well as Lithuania, to wrap up the drama in this chapter._

* * *

"Okay. Okay. We need to calm the fuck down. Jesus. Jesus, God, Toris, look at your face."

Lithuania nodded, touching his swollen eye. "Sir, I'm…"

"Calm down!" America shouted, his eyes wild. In retrospect, an immediate visit to Spain after returning from China's house and finding the note and an assaulted servant might not have been the best idea. America could see the words coming out of his mouth in bright orange flashes. Until they turned a calm blue, he was going to keep speaking. Maybe, if he blabbered enough, a solution would present itself.

"Sir," Lithuania said, backing away from America. "I think you should just ignore him."

"No, no." America popped his knuckles. "Fucking bastard took my beer. And he'll hut China. Damn bastard. Can't allow that. I love you know? Fucking love her."

_She got good at faking pleasure with Russia. Not that he would have noticed. He didn't even try most of the time. He was rough, cold, and fast. America tries, but fails. He has clumsy hands and squeezes her too hard. But he expects her to like it, so she tries; closes her eyes and opens her mouth and moans, and he buys it._

_"I love you," he says, turning over and letting her rest her head on his chest. With his glasses off, he looks so much younger. She feels sick to her stomach._

_"Thanks," she mutters._

_"Thanks? That's all I get?"_

_"Don't ruin the moment."_

_He stays silent, and she lies in his arms delicately, like a human doll. She thought it would be better with him, more exciting with a man who could afford to buy her all the things she wanted. But it's not. He still expects too much. She gave her heart away a long time ago, and she hates to hear him say he loves her, because she has nothing to give back._

"What do you expect me to do about that?" Lithuania asked with a slight groan. "I can't help you and how you feel…"

"Wait! Wait!" America stood up, looking triumphant. "I have a plan!"

Lithuania braced himself for ridiculous news. "Yes, sir?"

"I'm going to send you in my place," America began, nervously staring to pace back and forth in the kitchen. "And I'm going to wait a week. Then, I'm going to go and do diplomacy with that motherfucker, Russia, whether he wants it or not!"

"That's…" Lithuania considered it for a moment. "Not a terrible idea."

"None of my ideas are terrible!" America exclaimed proudly. "So, on Friday morning, pack your bags, and get ready to go help China!"

Lithuania nodded. "Of course, sir." Mostly, he was pleased he didn't have to suggest this plan himself. If he went to China's in place of America, Russia would think it was being done on his orders, that Lithuania was just doing what he had been told. And, in a sense, he was. But he wasn't sure he could sway China back to communism if she had, in fact, changed her mind. In the end, Lithuania decided, her ideas would probably come down to whichever man she feared the most.

_She's leaving without taking all of her things. It's not worth the effort of packing them up. Outside, the sun is just beginning to rise, the birds beginning to stir from their nests and singing softly, almost as though they had forgotten the notes over night. She takes a deep breath and looks over her shoulder at Lithuania. "I have to say goodbye to him."_

_"Are you sure? He's not going to be in a good mood. Are you sure you don't want me to pack your things up?"_

_"Yes, I'm sure." She goes to Russia's room and opens the door. He's curled up under a pile of blankets on the floor, next to a half-empty bottle of vodka. It's not all he's had, she knows. Poor thing couldn't even make it to the bed. She knees down next to him and touches his face._

_He stirs, his eyes opening half way, covered with heavy, puffy lids. He smiles slightly, his lips cracked. "Good morning. My head hurts."_

_"I'm sure it does?"_

_"What happened to you?"_

_She touches the bandages and frowns. "Somebody will tell you later. Ivan… I need to go, alright, mischka?" She leans in, kisses his cheek, and then stands up._

_He groans in protest slightly and then says, "Come back soon. I love you."_

_"I know, mischka. I know."_

The path to China's house was well worn. Lithuania's heart was pounding as he neared the building, and, after a deep breath, knocked on the door. It opened after a short wait that felt like forever.

"Oh, Toris, I wasn't expecting you." China was wearing a short, sleeveless, button up dress with high heels and a bored expression. "Come in."

"You look…" Lithuania struggled for words that wouldn't be taken as insulting, and decided to change the subject. "I came to tell you that-"

"You're helping America, aren't you? And let me guess. Russia's involved in this."

"Yeah."

"Yeah…" China sighed deeply, sitting down on the couch and crossing her legs politely. "You know something, Toris? I don't like either of your bosses."

"Neither do I."

She laughed, her eyes dark. "I look like a whore, I know. But it's easier to just skip to the sex. I'm so tired of listening to America tell me why I should be a capitalist."

"Are you going to be?"

"Of course not!" China snapped, glaring at Lithuania and crossing her arms. "My boss would kill himself and my people would kill me. I'm not stupid."

"I don't think you are."

"What do you think about me, then, Toris?"

Lithuania's face became red. "I think you're very strong, very smart, and… maybe you don't always make the best decisions, but you take care of yourself, which is more than most can say they do."

"Do you love me?"

"Well, I…" He stared at her in shock. What was she talking about? This wasn't how he expected things to go. How desperate was she? "I don't know."

"Do you want to find out?" China stood up, unbuttoning the top buttons of her dress, revealing the soft white skin above her breasts. "Because I'll let you." Her voice was bitter. "I'll let any man who things they can offer me something. You know that."

"But I…" Lithuania's eyes were wide with shock. How badly broken was she? He had never expected her to be so forward, to be so openly and insanely sexual. Had this been ho she was with Russia? With America?

She took his hand and pressed it to her breasts. "Go ahead, Toris. I'm dressed in clothes only good to take off, anyway." Looking into his eyes, she found herself somewhat sad. This, she realized with a pause, was the only way she could get points through to men.

And, unfortunately, she decided, this was the only way to reach both Russia and America in one fell swoop. She would prove to them that neither of them could have her. She could give herself away to anyone. And it was painfully easy to do.


	6. Doesn't Eveyone Have Hostage Rope?

A/N: _This was almost a chapter without gratuitous flashbacks. Almost. I might change the rating her to M eventually... Anyway._

_I'm gonna try to finish this up before I go to Spain. _

_Enjoy Russia/America violence and FemChina slutiness. _

_What do you expect from me anyway?_

* * *

"No! No, wait!" Lithuania took his hand off her breast. "I… I can't do this."

"Why not?"

"I can't tell you!" Lithuania blabbered. He knew that if Russia found out, it would mean his life. "I just… I can't do this."

"Do you think I'm not attractive?"

"I think you're gorgeous. I also think that I will be chopped up into lots of little pieces if I so much as touch you again."

China frowned. "Are you still scared of Ivan? He's a child."

"He's actually smarter…"

"Oh, I know he's smart," China said coldly, unbuttoning more of her dress, revealing her evenly formed smooth breasts in full. Lithuania began to sweat. "He would read me poetry after he raped me. He would quote Tolstoy at the breakfast table. He did complex math in his head and could balance any finance book. But he's a child."

"He's…" Lithuania looked away from her. "He gave me the black eye. He said I still work for him. I'm supposed to bring you back to him. He wants you to be his again. I'm sorry."

She paused, and then slipped her dress all the way off, kicking her feet free of the heels and instantly becoming three inches shorter. "And you obeyed because you're a coward."

The words stung. Lithuania knew it was true, but it hurt to hear. A ball of anxiety, tight and painful, formed in his stomach. "Yes."

"Well," China moved closer to him, ignoring the way he shook. It was almost endearing, really, to be with someone so inexperienced who still blushed at the sight of an undress woman. "At least you're honest with yourself."

"I don't love you."

"Good. I'm sick of men that do."

* * *

"You know, man," America took a long drag of his cigarette. "I don't get you. You're a whole fucking world of psycho that is just beyond me."

Russia tried to smile politely, but his face was a distorted mask of barely concealed rage. "As are you."

America looked up, his bright blue eyes full of confusion. "What, is my awesomeness too much for your little pea brain to understand? It's okay. I forgive you."

"Why did you call me here? Is it just to insult me?"

"It wouldn't be the first time."

"If that's all it is, I'm going home," Russia snapped, standing and pushing in his chair. "And you have all the thanks I can manage for your poor attempt at hospitality."

America leaned back, inhaling more smoke and exhaling it in rings from his nose. "I'm fucking China, you know."

Russia turned around, glaring. "Don't talk about her."

"Why not?" America's eyes gleamed. "She's pretty much the reason I invited you here. That, and I want you to stop beating the shit out of my servant."

"They were both mine first," Russia said flatly, his heart rate rising with fury. "And I still love China."

"Love?" America extinguished his cigarette in the ash tray on the middle of the dining room table next to a small vase of daisies. "Is that your nice and friendly way to say 'beat the shit out of?'"

"I'm going to get her back, you know," Russia replied, his voice cold. "She still belongs to me."

"Jesus!" America laughed, throwing his head back. "You're so hung up on her! Have you heard yourself?"

"There's no way she'd go to bed with you willingly," Russia snapped. "Did you rape her?"

There was a long silence. A smirk graced America's face. "No, actually, but I know you did."

"That's a lie."

"That's not what she told me."

Russia slammed his fist on the table, snarling. "She's a liar!"

"Don't you love her?" America challenged, not intimidated in the slightest.

"Da." Russia took a deep breath and took his fist off the table, standing up straight and turning to leave again.

"Wait!" America called, looking at his knuckles with practiced boredom, unable to keep the glee out of his voice. "Is it true that after the first time, she was the one on top? Always?"

_"Relax, Ivan." She puts her hands on his chest and pushes him back, straddling him with smooth, well-toned thighs. He tries to relax, to hide that this is exciting and different, and that the pain of her nails on his collar bones is not pleasurable. But he gasps for breath with such a ruptured joy that she goes at it even harder, and he cries out in lust._

_And when it is all over, he lays his head down on her chest. Her heartbeat is astoundingly even. She strokes his hair and hums, and he feels safe and warm and exhausted. Inside, he promises himself that this will not happen again. She will not be allowed to dominate. But, surely, one or two or so times is excusable…_

The vase flew across the table with surprising speed and ease, leaving America no time to react. Only when blood began to spray from his nose did he even realize what had happened. "What the fuck?"

Russia stormed around the table and hit America squarely in the jaw. "She's a liar!"

"Jesus!" America took a step back, only to find himself pushed down on the floor, with Russia sitting on top of him, crushing his stomach. "Get off me, you lard ass!"

"Shut up!"

America's teeth broke the skin inside his cheek, and blood began to ooze out and over his lips. He thought for a moment about swinging back, but stopped. If he fought, it would be just that: a fight. If he didn't fight, he could charge Russia with assault and gain sympathy. "You really are a psycho," he gasped, struggling for air. "A big, fat, ugly psycho. I'm surprised China waited as long as she did to leave your sorry ass. There must have been a lot of pity sex, that's for sure!"

"She loved me, shut up!" Russia's vision developed a red tint. Everything was shaking and dripping around him. He wanted, more than anything, to rip America's throat out with his bare hands, and maybe even his teeth.

"Yeah," America replied, spitting blood at Russia. "Loved. She loves me now. Loves in the present fucking tense."

Crunch. A tooth was dislodged from America's mouth. Russia burst out laughing. "She won't love you so much when she sees how weak you are! Fight me back!"

"No."

The cold defiance in America's voice shook Russia. Why wasn't America doing anything? What was he thinking? Well. Russia would just have to give him no alternative but to fight back. And yet, for some reason, the more his fists connected with America's face, the less America even struggled. Finally, after what seemed like a frustrating, blood soaked eternity, it was apparent that America was unconscious. Fine. Russia dragged the man to a chair and sat him down, binding him to the back with duct tape and cursing him for not having rope on hand.

Looking at him, an idea sprang to Russia's mind. He should call China, so she could see how pathetic America truly was. Yes, this was a brilliant idea, clearly. He went quickly to the phone.


	7. Spectacular Failure

A/N: _Can you say "rushed ending?" Yes, you can. Can you also say "I'm moving and going to Spain and going to see my girlfriend?" Probably. _

_This was fun to write. _

_Hope y'all enjoyed._

_P.S. I really am looking at the stuff in the poll on my page. So that's what I'll write, or think about writing, next. Go vote! Yeah! Democracy! _

* * *

China picked the phone up, stretching her legs. Lithuania watched her with reverent fascination. "Hello?" China's expression changed from serene to dark within moments. "Don't say another word, aru, we'll be there."

"What's going on?" Lithuania asked nervously, getting out of bed and re-dressing.

"There's a situation at Alfred's house," China sighed dressing in her uniform, pulling her hair back. Her hazel eyes were full of familiar determination, the kind that had frightened Russia into submission and America into silence. "Let's go."

"Alright."

"Oh," China looked over her shoulder and smiled, "And I'm sure you know, but I'd like to clarify. Officially, this never happened."

"Right," Lithuania echoed, pulling his boots on. "This never happened."

"Only officially," China replied, holding out her hand for him to take. "I know I'm not going to deny myself the pleasure of thinking of this on my own time."

Lithuania took her hand, smiling. "Well. Then I'll do the same."

She leaned in and kissed his cheek before heading out of the room, with him close behind, and saying, "The situation, aru, is this: apparently, Russia has America at his mercy. That's all he said, but we need to think of a plan."

The couple got into China's car. Lithuania buckled himself in out of habit. Estonia had always said that it was stupid to do so- if the car wrecked, nobody was going to die. Nations didn't go out in totaled vehicles, only at the hands of other Nations. Still, Lithuania wanted to make sure he was safe. "What kind of plan?"

"One that hopefully won't get us killed."

"What would that entail?" Lithuania asked, trying to smile. In his opinion, any plan that involved dealing with Russia or America could easily get someone killed.

"Just…" China sighed, her eyes focused on the road. "Let me do the talking."

"I can do that."

_Silence is a game that Lithuania wins frequently. He has gone who days without saying a word. But he hates to be silent now; he wants to rise up from the dinner table and scream at them to stop._

_"Stupid bitch. If you want to leave, leave." Russia snarls across the dinner table, thoughtlessly shoving food into his mouth. _

_China leans in, glaring coldly. She can turn people into a shaking, sobbing, apologizing mess, Lithuania has seen, without ever having to touch them. Russia looks visibly uncomfortable. "I would," China says quietly. "But every time I try to, you turn into a two year old. I can't leave you while you're throwing a dangerous temper tantrum."_

_"I never throw temper tantrums!" _

_China touches her eye. It is purple and blue and swollen. "Of course not."_

_Lithuania wants to stand up and scream until he literally can't anymore. He wants Russia to disappear forever and for his brothers and China to be safe. But he doesn't. He sits, perfectly still, and eats dinner. _

_Silence is a game he always wins._

"If you don't untie him, I'm leaving this instant."

"But… That's the point! Look how weak he is!"

China glared, putting her hands on her hips. "Russia. All I see is that you've bound and gagged him with duct tape. This is no major feat."

Lithuania watched the argument from the kitchen, where he had instantly gone to do dishes and stay out of Russia's striking distance. He bit his lip until he felt blood. He wanted, more than anything, to go cut the tape that was holding America to the chair and preventing him from speaking. Hopefully, China would take care of it.

"But he's weak!" Russia protested as China marked over to America and began to yank the tape away.

"Fucking psycho!" America said quickly, sucking in a deep breath of air as soon as his mouth was free. "Fucking assaulted me!"

"I know, babe," China replied flatly, "But I'm here, so stop complaining."

Russia grabbed China's arm and said through gritted teeth. "Don't call him that. You're mine, gosling."

China stood perfectly still before saying with a hint of cruelty. "You know, Ivan, the last time you grabbed me like this, I broke a bottle on your face. Do you really want to risk what I'll do this time if you don't stop acting like a misbehaving child?"

Russia hesitated, then let go. As China finished freeing America, Russia went into the kitchen and grabbed Lithuania by the shirt collar, dragging him out into the living room. "If you don't come home with me, China, I'll kill him."

"Go ahead," China said quickly, not making eye contact. "He wasn't a very good spy for you, anyway, was he? I don't feel like going back to you."

America sprang up as the last of the tape was pulled away, and threw himself at Lithuania, ripping the trembling nation out of Russia's hands. "You were a spy?"

"Only for five minutes I swear!" Lithuania replied, trying not to burst into tears. "I told China, and I was going to tell you but-"

America's fist collided with Lithuania's face. There was a collective stunned silence, and then America went into his office, returning with a pistol and a cold expression of murderous determination. He pressed the barrel against Lithuania's forehead. "I hate spies."

Lithuania crumbled to the ground, horrified. "I'm not a spy, sir! I was scared!"

"When aren't you scared?" America challenged, cocking the pistol.

Russia laughed loudly, taking China's arm and pulling her close. "That is a good point."

America spun on Russia, pointing the gun at him. "Shut your fat face. I'm gonna shoot you, too."

"No you're not," Russia replied coolly. "You'll kill him, and then realize you're a coward. Have you ever killed anyone before?"

"Never too late for a first time. Now take your commie hands off China."

"Why? She's not yours."

"I'm not yours either, Ivan," China snapped, pulling away from Russia and going to Lithuania's side. "I'm nobody's. And until you two imperialist pigs stop treating me like I am some kind of new bride, or horse to be broken, or bright new carnival prize that you can't afford to share, I am not going to touch either of you. You make me sick."

America was dumb silent with shock, but Russia trembled with fury before growling. "Fine. Then I'll take Lithuania and be on my way."

"Like hell you will," China said coldly, grabbing Russia's wrist as he neared Lithuania. "You'll go back to being needlessly, thoughtlessly cruel, and I won't allow that to happen."

"And what are you going to do, then, Yao?" he placed a sharp exaggeration on her human name, hoping it would cause her to stop just long enough to give him an attack point. He took a step back, and she followed. They began a waltz of violence. America raised the pistol.

As they spun in a progressively faster circle, China kept her eyes on Russia's face. "I'm going to knock you out, if I must. You know I can, Ivan."

One two three. One two three. His writs was in her hand, his other hand on her waist, hers against his neck. Faster and faster. Lithuania stood up shakily, his eyes locked on America. America was steadying his line of sight. "Don't do it, sir," Lithuania urged, "You're not a good shot. You'll make things worse."

"Don't tell me what the fuck to do, coward," America said quietly. He pulled the trigger.

"Damn it all, America," Lithuania screamed, "I told you!"

China slumped to the floor. Russia's hands were bloody, his eyes wide with horror. America frowned deeply and re-cocked the pistol. "Just give me a second…"

For the first time Lithuania could remember, he made a fist and swung with the real intention of beating another Nation down. The punch connected squarely with America's face. America dropped the pistol, and Lithuania picked it up quickly. Then, while both Russia and America were too stunned to move, Lithuania threw China's arms over his shoulders and held them with one hand, using the hand with the pistol to keep Russia and America at bay. "You two," he panted, "Are the most miserable excuses not only for Nations, but also for men. In short, before I take China to the hospital I have to say… Fuck you. Also, America, learn how to aim!"

_She leans back, wearing one of Russia's shirts and a pair of shorts. She's not trying to hide the bruises anymore. "Toris," she says quietly, "I think this is going to be a good summer."_

_"How so, Miss China?" he sets the ledger book down and looks back at her. She's sitting on the top of the stairs on the back porch, and he's two steps down. Russia is in the back yard, holding an armful of sunflowers and talking to Latvia and Estonia, who are covered in dirt from setting up the vegetable garden._

_"Because the flowers are healthy and beautiful this year."_

_"That doesn't mean the summer will be good, Miss China."_

_"But it does mean, that, at least for now, we're all happy, aren't we Toris?"_

_"Yes." He's lying through his teeth, but he can see that she genuinely is happy, and so he'll lie for her. He'll do anything for her._

This was not the way he had imagined things would go. Peering into the hospital room through the small glass window, watching Russia stroke China's face and watching China (in her morphine addled state) mutter that she loved him, Lithuania couldn't help but feel like he had done something terribly wrong.

America appeared behind him, an unlit cigarette between his teeth, and tapped his shoulder. "Are we done here? Those two make me sick."

"Sure," Lithuania looked one last time at China, with her beautiful hair down and her eyes no longer hard with anger or any real feelings at all. "Alright. Um… do you still hate me, sir?"

America laughed slightly, wrapping his arm around Lithuania's shoulders as they walked. Then, in oddly serious and unfamiliarly sober tones, he said, "No. I think you're a coward, yeah, but I forgive you. Not everyone can be as brave as me or the psycho or China. But you told the truth, and you got her to the hospital. Hell, probably saved her life. So I don't hate you."

"I'm glad," Lithuania replied, trembling. "Because I'd probably never get another job if both you and Russia said I was weak and unreliable. Especially after what happened this week…"

"What happened? Jesus, Toris. Russia assaulted me. I fucking shot a woman. On accident, yeah, but still… You look like you've got the best reputation here."

Lithuania considered this, and then beamed. "Yeah. I guess I do."

"So don't worry about this." There was a long silence, and Lithuania was genuinely happy until they were outside, in the light of the setting sun, when America lit his cigarette and said, "You know a month ago when you said something about Ukraine being easier to crack open than China would have been? Let's try it. We need a strong capitalist girl."

"Are you sure you aren't doing this just-"

"To really piss Russia off?" America grinned, and Lithuania stopped himself from covering his face in shame. "Yeah, that too."


End file.
